A Brick Away From Falling Down
by FrankandJoe3
Summary: Dick learns firsthand that being a hero can bruise you just as bad mentally as it can physically.


**Late, yes, but posted all the same. Some things you don't want to experience, but other things make good reference, and I hate having to think like that. Nothing quite this grave, no, but the reaction for sure. She came over and she broke down. I sat there and held her. Two days later, I could only text her to try and help. Two weeks later and I'm still feeling helpless. **

**Disclaimer: Anything you recognize, I do not own.**

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Wally was wedged between the highest shelves in his closet looking for a pair of shoes without a hole in the soles when his phone went off. Normally, he would've just ignored the text and continued his search, seeing his current position, but he couldn't wiggle himself out any faster when he recognized the ring tone. A failed tuck and roll had him on his back for a moment, giving a quiet groan, before he was scrambling across the carpet to snatch his phone up from his dresser.

**Boy Wonderful: **_window_

The redhead rubbed his neck with a little sigh, almost disappointed. Yeah, Dick wasn't the best at conversation, but a hello would be nice every once in a while.

**Me: **_Unlocked. Sup? _

Giving the phone a little stare, he pocketed it and jogged down the stairs a little faster than he needed to, finding his mom in the kitchen with something in a pot that smelled good enough to clear his mind for a second. When it came back to him, he hopped up on his toes and teetered until she looked back at him.

"Can Dick come over for a little bit?"

Mary gave a little smile, looking back to dinner. "I don't know why you bother asking. Even if I say no, I'm going to find the two of you on the Xbox in a few minutes."

Wally bit back a smile, landing flat from his feet.

"So... that's a yes?"

She gave a breath of a laugh and nodded, shooing him off with a hand. "I guess. You two behave now."

The grin spread fast and Wally was jogging back upstairs, slipping his phone out of his pocket.

**Boy Wonderful: **_open_

His nose crinkled in the slightest annoyance.

**Me: **_You've got arms._

When he got back into his room, he shut the door behind him and gave a half-assed attempt to clean up; dirty clothes were chucked in the closet and everything else was kicked under the bed. Good enough. He had just started over to the Xbox when his phone went off again.

**Boy Wonderful: **_open_

Wally began questioning the contact name. 'Boy Jerkwad' was starting to fit better. He didn't question it though, and made his way over to the window. The lock stuck until he realized that he was unlatching them the wrong way. When it was up as far as it could go, he kneed out the screen and set it on the floor beneath the pane.

**Me: **_Whatever, princess. It's open. _

He set his phone back on the dresser and gave the clock a quick glance before going back to the Xbox and messing with the cords. It was only four. Weren't the Dynamic Duo scheduled to be duoing until six? Whatever. It saved him from having to touch his French homework.

It didn't take long to fish out two controllers from his 'shoe graveyard' as they had nicknamed the top drawer of his bureau, tucked inside two different pairs of worn sneakers. He wasn't a hoarder, as he had to often defend himself; he just hung on to the cooler-looking shoes in the hopes that he could reinforce the broken bottoms and wear them again another day.

When the Xbox kicked on, giving a menacing roar of protest surprisingly loud for its age, he pulled up Minecraft. It wasn't his favorite thing to play, especially with Cry of Fear waiting to be finished somewhere by his mini fridge, but he had learned overtime that building was the best way to break down the wall his friend always had up. If the duoing had been cut short, something had to have happened. It was his job, not only as a friend, but also as a ginger, to stick his nose in Dick's business.

The loading screen came up and he turned the other controller on too, setting them both on the foot of the bed. He was just reaching for his phone when he heard the splintering outside his window. The redhead gave a little huff, waiting until he heard the corresponding touch of feet to the rooftop before peeking his head out to look.

"Dude, you have to stop grappling the house. Mom makes me reshingle," he crossed his legs, leaning forward on them.

Dick was silent as he crawled in through the window, already in the oversized green hoodie that he insisted wearing everywhere. Wally's suspicion skyrocketed. Two hours early, _and _in civvies. Something was definitely up. Probably just a disagreement with Bruce, but it still didn't sit well. It got worse as Dick slid the window shut and looked up.

The center being the darkest, his entire face was a shade of red with the exception of the darkness under the pink tint of his eyes. Tears had his cheeks reflecting the glow from the TV and his jaw trembled as though it were unhinged. He stood there a moment, holding Wally's eyes, before he stumbled over to the bed and collapsed. Wally's eyes widened and he lunged forward, catching the ebony as he fell, pulling him up onto the mattress beside him.

"Dick!" his arms tightened around the other, searching the glistening face for any direct sign as to what was wrong.

Dick's face was still for a moment until it seemed to tighten and he pressed it into the crook of his friend's arm, clinging to the sleeve of his jacket for dear life. The second his eyes tucked in against the fabric, he heaved a broken sob and fell apart, curled around his friend's lap. Wally, unsure of what else he could do, held the thirteen year old and lightly ran his free hand through the dark locks as soothingly as he could manage.

"Hey, hey," he muttered quietly, brow tightening when he felt the wet heat pooling in the bend of his arm, biting his lip. "You're here now. It's okay."

He ran his hand down between the other's shoulder blades and stroked the flat with his thumb, only succeeding in coaxing a pained little whimper from the other that had the chest beneath his palm racking. Wally gave a little sigh, feeling incredibly helpless as he resorted to rubbing the other's back in little circles to distract him.

Though they couldn't have stayed like this for more than a few minutes, it felt like a lifetime to the redhead- a lifetime that ended when how helpless he felt ended up killing him. When he came back from the dead, all memories of his past death still kept in tow, he decided to do something about it and gently patted the other's back for his attention.

"Hey, buddy," he said a little louder than he wanted to, waiting until his friend had managed to put an abrupt stop to his cries to keep going, "as much as I'm loving our little... cuddle fest... I may be able to do more if I actually knew what was wrong."

Dick was still for a moment longer, the heat in Wally's now wet elbow becoming a little gross, before he straightened up with a mouthed apology. He looked as though he had just pulled his head out of a pool. Tears were frozen on his lashes and others stayed in their earlier trails on his cheeks. A few had even made their way up to his forehead, every bit of skin catching the TV light with a brighter glint than before.

He went to talk, but his voice caught in his throat, and he mouthed another apology, wiping a few of the tears away with a shaking hand. When he managed to dry most of his cheeks, his chin crumpled as he attempted speech again.

"Patrol," he all but croaked, a tear skimming his cheek and hitting Wally's knee.

The redhead dried his cheeks with the edge of his sleeve, dabbing gently.

"Take your time," he urged.

Dick nodded appreciatively, shaking in the faintest. He paused to catch his breath, jaw clenching tightly for a moment. His eyes fluttered as he counted until it seemed to calm him down and he could breathe even again.

"I'm really sorry," he began quietly.

Wally grabbed his arm. "You have no reason to be."

Dick nodded again, seemingly frustratedly with himself, taking another breath.

"Batman and... I... patrol. Saw some silhouettes up in a window of the warehouse we were watching. We ah... I took the six... he got twelve and we... were going to cover the ground together. Meet up in the middle."

"I know the drill, buddy," Wally got out when he noticed the faint break written into the other's voice.

Another tear fell and it dropped right along with his heart. He mouthed another apology.

"I found two guys upstairs. They were... they were going at it, y'know, fighting. I pulled my tazor... asked 'em... what they were doing. One... he pulled a knife," the ebony's voice dropped to a breath and he shook his head, pressing his face into his palms.

Wally's brow tightened and he held the other's shoulder gently, rubbing with his thumb as his chest tightened with resisting a sob.

"He... grabbed the... the other guy... put the... put the knife to his throat. He asked me... to... put down my gun. So... I did. I thought..." his face tightened with his chest and he gave a whimper, eyes shutting until they seemed like nothing more than wrinkles in his face. "I just... thought..."

He broke again and curled back in towards the redhead's elbow, clutching at the jacket tightly. Wally stared helplessly, doing his best to stay still for the ebony's sake.

"The other guy... begged me... just wanted help," Wally just barely made out from the muffled mess leaving his friend's lips. "And I just... watched as he... his throat... the knife..."

He turned his head to the side and lay his cheek against the crook of the redhead's arm. Tear-stained eyes met up with the worry in the emerald ones and Wally could point out the exact moment his friend's heart shattered again.

"There was so much blood," he breathed.

Dick curled around him once more, collapsing against his lap with his knees tucking around the fifteen year old's back and only tightening, to make sure that he wouldn't spiral off into the nothing that was consuming him.

"I tried to... tried to stop the bleeding, but there... there was so much... he was... he was crying and I... I tried to..."

He didn't have the strength to turn his cheek, so Wally helped him, running his fingers through the other's hair as he fell to pieces in his arms.

Wally knew that it was best to not say anything. Dick's first on-site death. He remembered his first. A random girl had been shot in a robbery he had been assisting. He never found out her name. It had taken a few months of therapy to stop seeing her face in his dreams, but he hadn't experienced a death prior to that. Dick had. The first time they had shared back stories, that first time his friend had let his guard down, he remembered the small break in his voice at even _recalling _the first deaths he had witnessed- his parents. Did that help cushion it at all, or did it make it worse? If this was cushioning, he wasn't sure he wanted to see the uncensored reaction. He wouldn't survive it.

"Does Bruce know you're here?" he decided to ask instead, shoulders falling as he noticed the small head shake.

The redhead nodded and kept on combing his hair with his fingers, heaving as quiet of a sigh as he could manage. The small form curled over his lap had switched from racking in violent jerks with each sob to trembling, and he couldn't tell if that made him feel any better.

"Did you... see him... after... it happened?" Wally gently tilted his head down, trying to get a small peek of the other's expression.

Dick's forehead scrunched up at the mention and he stuck with the little tremors, a hiccup following his attempt to catch his breath.

"He found me," he said quietly, voice cracking on every letter. "Tried to... help and I j... just ran."

Even with his face still hidden in the other's sleeve, Wally could feel the new tear drop to join the others. It had the knot in his throat securely tying itself off. He knew he needed to call Bruce to avoid the national guard storming his house, but Dick needed this. Bruce would make everything worse. He wasn't exactly Mr. Sympathy. Neither was Wally for that matter, but he knew what his best friend needed to calm down. Yeah, he wasn't big on affection, but he knew it was what was keeping the ebony from shattering entirely. If he knew anything about him, it was that.

"Hey, hon, is Dick here yet?" Wally flinched as the door opened, meeting eyes with his mother as she froze in the door.

The grin dropped from her face at the same speed that the cookies nearly did, a quiet gasp leaving her lips. She took a step forward, the concern clear, but halted when her son shook his head.

"Call Bruce," he mouthed, careful to not make any noise.

She faltered and gave a frantic nod, shutting the door behind her and leaving as quickly as she had come in. Dick curled in a little tighter, pressing his cheek against the wet elbow so he could look up at his friend.

"I'm sorry," he said quietly, and he meant it, pushing himself up with a shaky arm.

Wally caught his shoulder, eyes darting over his face.

"You gotta stop doing that. This isn't on you," he assured him, slipping out of his jacket and drying his elbow on the hood. "Why don't you just... lay down? Try and sleep some of this off?"

He moved out of the way, his eyes never leaving the other as though he feared he would drop and separate into thousands of pieces any second. Dick held his eyes, his own red and swollen even after he frantically wiped them on his palms, and found himself giving a nod. He crawled up and lay his head against a pillow, giving a little sniffle with a shudder in tow. Wally moved carefully, bringing his comforters up around the shivering mass, patting his back once he was wrapped up. Before he could offer Melatonin or anything that might help the other in drifting off, Dick spoke up.

"I thought... when I... got into this business... capes and masks and all that... y'know... I saw my parents die. There can't... be anything worse than that," he paused to cough into his palm, making his best attempt to level his voice, "but with them... I couldn't really... blame myself. I couldn't have known to check the wire. That wasn't... on me. I was helpless. But with... with him... I should've... shot the other guy."

Wally averted his eyes as he crawled up beside the other, offering the second player controller. Dick stared at it before he nodded and took it, curling to the point he could see the screen. Wally started in a new world and the two split up.

"Ask questions first, then shoot later. That's what a hero's supposed to do."

"A hero ain't nothing but a sandwich."

"That from something?"

"Yeah."

"Silence of the Lambs?"

Dick gave a watery laugh and immediately, the tension dissolved. It was so much easier like this: facing the problem without facing each other. The ebony wiped off another tear track, still trembling, but he was definitely looking a little better off.

"What'd you do... with your first?"

Wally glanced over, giving an inquisitive hum.

"Come on, you've been... in the game for a... while now. You had to have..." Dick trailed and Wally thought he understood.

"The first death I experienced in the field?"

"Yeah."

Wally gave another hum, but this one was more in thought.

"Yeah... it was... my fourth month in tights, actually. Me and Barry-"

"Barry and I."

"Whatever. _Barry and I _were checking in on a bank robbery. A few guys are holding up the place. We round up four and cuff 'em pretty quick, but we didn't see the guy behind the counter. He pops up, pow pow pow, and one of the hostages is on the floor. She wasn't very old... never even screamed. Coroner said she was dead before she hit the floor," he pressed the buttons on his controller a little harder than he needed to for a moment.

Dick wiped his eyes again, fingers trembling a bit too hard to keep a strong hold on his own.

"Sounds like you're vibrating over there, buddy," Wally teased, watching the other in his peripheral.

Dick murmured an apology, setting the controller down to hide his eyes in his palms while he slowed his breathing. Wally set his down, too, and waited, keeping his eyes on the TV.

"When you... when the girl... died... what did you...?" he got out in little fragments, fighting back something rising in his chest.

Wally's fists curled unconsciously and he sucked in a little breath.

"Therapy," he said simply, collecting his controller again.

Dick followed suit with a quiet little sniffle.

"Don't worry, Dick," Wally looked over at him for a moment. "We're going to get you through this."

They both froze when the door opened again, the younger between them offering a broken smile to Mrs. West as she mouthed, "How are you?" to him.

Wally stared expectantly, but the woman wasn't there for him. She held out the house phone towards their guest with an apologetic sigh.

"It's your father. He wants to make sure you're... that... well," she looked to Wally with an apologetic smile to match.

The redhead leaned back against the pillow and kept a careful eye on Dick as he took the phone, his mom seeming to have the same thoughts. The conversation didn't last long. He asked to talk about it some other time and that's about where it ended. He handed back the phone and thanked Mary for letting him stay, and then she was gone with the same worried smile on her lips.

Once she was gone, the two boys exchanged a glance and got comfortable, going back to the game in a friendly silence until the walls were broken down again.

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**-F.J. III**


End file.
